he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
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Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
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Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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