Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
