Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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