omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
