I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
