It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
