susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
