don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
