im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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