I cannot find my penis.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize