They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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