Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
