I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize