The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I supernannyed him into submission
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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