I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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