Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
