I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
