this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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