discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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