I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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