my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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