I accidentally burped into my bong.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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