hell yes lets make some ravioli
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
