I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
