Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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