You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize