see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
