I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
