this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So much Jack, so little girl.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize