i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm at about main and main street
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
