and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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