Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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