You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The maid of honor just puked.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
