I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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