If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
