bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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