5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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