wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
