She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
