he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
