you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
