Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
