If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
