no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
