it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
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This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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