Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
