I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
