Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
