No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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