Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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