I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize